The checklist
Work through these in order. Fifteen minutes is enough for most families.
- Account age. Confirm the birth date on each app account is your child's real one, because age settings key off it.
- Parental controls in the AI app itself. Several major chat apps now offer a linked parent account and quiet hours.
- Chat history and training. Turn off the option that lets your conversations improve the model.
- Voice and camera permissions. Decide which apps genuinely need the microphone and camera, and switch off the rest.
- AI features inside social apps. The chatbot built into a messaging app is often the one kids talk to most, and it has its own toggle.
- School device settings. Ask the school which AI tools are approved and what data they collect. You are allowed to ask.
- Payment and purchase lock. AI subscriptions and in-app upgrades add up fast and are easy to trigger.
What settings will not do
Settings buy you time and reduce accidents. They do not raise your child, and every one of them can be worked around by a motivated fourteen year old with a friend's phone.
Pair the checklist with one ongoing conversation and you have covered far more ground than either alone.
Put it on the calendar
Apps change their defaults constantly, often after an update. Set a recurring reminder for the first Sunday of the month and rerun this list. It takes five minutes the second time.